


Cards are Problamatic

by Vullet (orphan_account)



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! Series
Genre: Gen, author speaking alot, everything is problamatic, infinity dies, jack gets banned, lots of swearing, lucciano is repeating the statistical elements of pot of desires, mst negates, nobody can afford pot of desires, nobody knows how to use clear wing, obviously, placido and vector take over a card shop, references to everything, ruling is really fucked up, skiel is still a piece of shit, tcg jokes, vector is trying his best to keep the 4th wall in-tact, what does pot of greed do??, yuuri attempts to sell yuugo, yuusei fights the banlist, yuuya gets the front seat to the emergency banlist, z-arc is done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-18
Updated: 2016-10-18
Packaged: 2018-08-23 06:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8316640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Vullet
Summary: Z-Arc and a squad of both heroes and villains from all the spinoffs are on a rampage...over cards. Or character development, in Izayoi Aki's case.ft. Placido x Everyone, Ryou crying over Infinity, Yuusei fighting the OCG over Level Eater and Yuugo nearly being sold. Yeah.AKA: Shitposting about Yugioh, the fanfiction.





	

"FUKC KONAMI. FUCK THEM."

JACK ATLAS remained quite immune to Yuusei's screams over the ban of Level Eater. What was it used for besides Quasar, a very situational deck, anyways? Honestly, the fact that Skiel was writing this with 0 idea about what the fuck is happening in the OCG was probably a major flaw but eh. They just got Kozmos and they'd have fun.

Lots of fun. And Dark Destroyers.

But this story isn't about Kozmo/Monarch format hate. Well actually it's not suppose to be but it's suppose to be a fucking joke fic so screw it.

"Wow gee I can already tell this thing is really a joke," Crow Hogan sarcastically said in the distance. It's true.

If you still think this is going to be serious, turn away now. ** _Because it's fucking not_**.

 

* * *

 

Far away in the distant, or I guess not really, was Z-Arc. Destroyer of Worlds. Meme. Kiryu 2016 edition. Whatever you wanna call him, that's fine with you.

"You have all suffered the pain of having terrible cards or not being able to reappear in Arc-V to show the new broken support your archetypes got!(Ryou, i'm looking at you.) Just as I have suffered because Ray split me! What do you all have to say for yourselves?"

Lucciano looked at Z-Arc, then at Placido, and back at our lord and savior(tm). "Pot of Desires is $90."

"FUCK YOU! I SAID WE DON'T TALK ABOUT POT OF DESIRES!"

"There's a 1% chance that if you run 3 copies of a card and do not open up with any of them, for you to activate Pot of Desires and banish all 3 copies."

Z-Arc facepalmed. This crew was a fucking disaster. How was he suppose to even god damn get revenge on Ray!? "Vector, I respect your input, but I literally gave you all tokens that read "We do not talk about Pot of Desires." How do you guys go over something so obvious?"

"Like the fact that you've been denied for 120+ episodes," suggested distant!Sergey. Z-Arc was actually fucking done. Sergey. In the distance. This wasn't a relatable pictures blog.

He glanced over the crew again. Roll call. Hopefully. He didn't ask for them to write their actual names, so it was a disaster.

"I really want Infinity."

"Here," Ryou stated, the most serious out of them all. Nobody dare speak of it's price drop around him.

"Fuck Yoshida."

Aki gave a thumbs up. She was a bit too focused thinking of every way to kill the man.

"Obviously I need better Support."

"It's true," Lucciano stated. Skiel did need support. This was a fact.

"fuck yuusei. okay Placido I THINK YOU WIN AWARD FOR MOST CREATIVE."

"I'd give it to Ryou, but eh."

"i saved zexal. Wow. Thanks. You guys love obvious names don't you."

Vector glanced at Z-Arc, disappointed.

"Moving on. Fusion? Wait...Yuugo?"

Yuugo pointed at Yuuri.

"What the hell then? There's not another name?"

"I got here via being good."

"..."

"Speedroids are going to fucking break the meta. You will bow down to them. YOU WILL FEEL THE POWER OF INDESTRUCTIBLE CRYSTAL WING!"

"Okay true villain of Arc-V confirmed. Anyone else besides Distant-Yet-Now-Gone-Sergey?"

"Do I appl-"

"DUEL MONSTERS DON'T FUCKING APPLY."

"POT OF GREED ALLOWS ME TO DRAW 2 CARDS FROM MY DECK!" Judai yelled from across the room.

"FUCK YOU!"

Z-Arc tackled Judai only to get punched in the face by Yubel. Vector was very amused by the pain and suffering and Aki gave the face of, "I didn't help Yoshida took away my Psychic Powers."

Manjoume was also there, if only because of Yuuri needing someone else than the one person with a good deck.

"Eh, what happened to you?" Manjoume asked, trying to pass time.

Despite the question being directed towards the now potentially dead Z-Arc, Placido answered. "Yuusei bissected me!"

"Damn."

"What are the chances of Terrortop being hit?"

"..."

Z-Arc finally got up, with a dramatic thumbs up of being okay.

He wasn't.

"I will have my revenge on Judai Yuki!"

"glhf" Vector stated, ignoring all rules of writing.

"Vector how are you doing this."

"Sssh. We can't break the fourth wall anymore or else the universe will implode."

By this rate, it felt like everyone was done. The only sound was Lucciano constantly replaying a .mp3 saying all the statistical elements of Pot of Desires. The one card nobody could afford.

"Hate to break the silence but Crystal's up to 47!"

Yuugo was slammed against the ground by Odd-Eyes Dragon, as Yuuri watched in horror as the worst Odd-Eyes hurt his counterpart.

"Any other speakers before we actually do something?"

"Pot of goddamn Desires."

"LUCCIANO YOU'RE FIRED."

"HE ISN'T HIRED SO YOU CAN'T FIRE."

"FUCK YOU VECTOR AND YOUR SHOW!"  
  


Z-Arc ended the universe by ignoring Vector.

Actually nah, that was a joke. I was just to lazy to write more.


End file.
